1. OPENING JARS - she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. - She didn't!! Jars are men's work.

2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man.

3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.

4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle???

5. GOING TO THE DUMP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish -noisy destruction.

6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.

7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8. HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

9. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.

10. NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

11. USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while drinking a beer? Superb.

12. KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-!Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are p*ssed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.

14. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15. CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or br*ast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.

16. WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17. TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item.Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18. TAKING OUT €200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19. PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN 10 SECONDS - unlike women, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Vic? Shanty, it is then. Ten. Seeya."

20. PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.

21. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"

24. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says 'that's right, i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized shit.'

I'm going to the white stripes tonight. Concert starts at 4 but wont be out of work until 5. Can't freakin wait, it's going to be bitchen. We missed them at last years witnness because Jack broke his finger or something. I hope they play "Hardest Button to Button". I love that song. There is some good support too: Mundy, Groove Armada (I Think), can't remembe the rest, but I know they are good.

Mozilla Sunbird. Yet another excellent app from Mozilla, now I haven't used it much yet, but I know from from using Thunderbird and Firefox for about 5 months now, that this will be an excellent extension for me.

Should be handy for synchronising stuff with Duckarto and My Lady.

Link. So you know the lost and found, people work in the lost and found (doesn't matter where) and find stuff. Not many people go looking for it. This is like lost and found, but with out the Lost (or Found) part.

What do you do with stuff you find? What else, you publish it.

Random found stuff + Published = Genious.

Via Feigning Interest.

Seriously. I Decided to buy tomasbreen.com a while back. Why? Because that's my name. Why Else? I don't know. THat is why there is nothing up there except a link to this site.

So what should I do with it? I have a blog. So I dont need another one. Do I? It was supposed to be my portfolio of designs and development and photography etc. But I have a job and dont have time to compile a site.

So....You Decide. I'll take the most popular idea and do it. It can be any idea. Comment here. Porn Maybe?

Music Plasma. I know Makertan would freakin love this. You type in an artist and it creates a really cool looking tree with the artists relationships with other artists and the discography etc.

That's all. I'm sure there is more there too, but I am busy looking for a car so that's all that's on my mind at the moment.

If you're selling, you know who to call.

Over the coming 2/3 weeks you will notice a new design on Bah Flaf Burb.

Maybe not today, probably not tomorrow, probably not next week. Ok, I promise to have a cool new design with extra thingys lying around the place by the 1st September. Since the location of the site has moved, the site needs a new design, one that was not designed by blogger, one that is designed by me.

Keep Watching the Skiis

Yours in Kind,

Mossy

The site has now moved to its new and true location (http://www.bahflafburb.com/). For those of you who do not know what Bah Flaf Burb means. It is a quote from the simpsons. For those of you who do not know what the simspons is, here is a quote from the simpsons to empathise with your current situation.

No.....For you see I have been on Mars, in a cave, with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears.

Now back to the name. "Bah Flaf Burb" is a Homer Simpson quote. As far as I can remember marge was asking homer to go to his siters or something. When she said, "will you go?", Homer was lying in bed and muttered, "Bah", "What?, marge returned, "Flaf", came from under the bed sheets, "That's not even a word, Homer!", said marge. "Burb".